Zombies, Pineapple Explosion

Hmm so where was I? Oh yeah, I was sandboarding in Peru. Well since then I went to visit the national museum in Ica, home of several completely intact mummies. Ica´s dry desert climate had managed to preserve both their hair and skin. There was also a rehydrated hand from about 1100 A.D. (pictured) and a headress of dreadlocks that measured about 4 feet long. I arrived at the museum at about 6pm, an hour before closing, in hopes to avoid large groups of people. I suceeded, for about 10 min. After having the entire place to myself for said 10 minutes, a school group of about 40 twelve-year-olds invaded the museum. They were loud, they giggled, they took pictures with the flash on, they flirted with each other, they made me feel like a tight-lipped librarian that wore glasses on a chain. I wanted them to stop flirting, shut up, and show some respect. I started feeling really sorry for the mummies. I mean, these guys had been promised eternal life, power, and splendor. They were going to become gods. Instead they had been unearthed from their tombs of gold and silver and placed in a museum where they were housed in cheap glass cases, labeled with laminated index cards, and displayed before giggling kids with Mickey Mouse cameras. I started hoping that the mummies would become zombies, break out of their cases, and chase off the 12-year-olds. It would have been pretty awesome. Then I started fantasizing about the life of these zombie mummies. Highlights included:
1. Zombies setting up a zombie commune in the desert, which would subsequently become named a UNESCO World Heritage Site (as all the cool stuff in South America is). They would do things like make free zombie love with each other, perfect their children scaring techniques (to be used for child-correction purposes only), talk about the old days, and other stuff that zombies do when living in a zombie commune.
2. The zombies hosting a series of educational talks with the world´s most renown professors, archaeologists, historians, etc, in which they would clarify the cultural customs, mythologies, and everyday practises of the ancient Peruvians.
3. Zombies eating the brains of all corrupt leaders of the world. I think that could keep them satisfied for a while.

Anyway, after Ica, I headed back up to Lima so I could fly to COLOMBIA!!! which is where I am currently. This place is awesome. I am currently in the capital, Bogota. The streets here are filled with graffiti, posters for shows, life. There is a huge blackmarket of books, which takes up about 3 blocks, and everything is cheap. If you ignore the fact that everyone is slightly paranoid about getting mugged, it is pretty fucking awesome. I am investigating various places where I can get certified to dive, and I am looking forward to finally basking in sweet, sweet warmth. Fuck yeah. Viva Colombia.