Extry Extry!! The Social Retards Get Married!!

Shocking but true. So the social retard clan is growing. However, a lot of us have not had much interaction with the significant others that will be assimilating into our group. So, in order for the rest of us to feel better acquainted with these individuals, I am posting a fact sheet on the social retards to be.

Jason
--he farts a lot
--he likes to sing hymns
--he gets grumpy when he's tired (sound familiar?)
--he goes to sleep at 10:30
--he's a bit clumsy
--he likes farms and Kansas a lot
--he treats most people he meets with respect
--he wanted to be a herpatologist when he was a kid
--he knows a lot about cow reproduction
--he milks goats on the weekend
--he's addicted to lifting weights

Trevor
--he is a sailor
--he likes bananas a whole lot
--he wants an army of midget minions
--In his youth, he formed a Ghostbuster club
--his least favorite work party project is scraping the mast
--his favorite Star Wars character is currently Obi Wan
--he has octopus boxers
--he would choose ants as his insect pet of choice because they could eat off the faces of his enemies
--he thinks Caroline is a hot tamale

Julia
--she plays the flute
--she farts a lot too
--she loves Ben and Jerry's ice cream
--she also likes anything chocolate
--she has a pretty pair of teal underware
--she does not like writing papers, but she does like learning
--she is addicted to YouTube
--she does not like eggs
--she likes to read while she poops
--she liked to play in the sandbox as a child
--she does not like bananas in her oatmeal