"That's O.K., I didn't want to go anyway. I'm just going to go home, lay down, and listen to country music....the music of pain." ~Xander, Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Or watch horrible, outdated WB T.V. shows on DVD. It's been a rough few days.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Week of Crazy
So it's been a pretty fucking crazy week. It all started when my friend Max came to visit from New Orleans. I think he brought the insanity of New Orleans with him, but the nature of the insanity (which in N.O. usually originates from things like being drunk, homeless, and so fucking hot that you just want to rip off all your clothing) got mangled in the flight over here and rather than it resulting in parties with lots of smelly, half naked kids, I was bequeathed Joan Rivers.
What?!??!?
That's right, Joan Rivers.
But let's backtrack a little. So since arriving here in the Bay Area, I've been attempting to hook myself up with some totally sweet internships (because I love working for free). One of the places I applied to was Magic Theatre, which only produces brand new works. Almost everything they do is a world premier. Last week, they gave me a call. They informed me that they were very impressed with my application, that I was obviously a very eloquent person, but that there was a lot of departmental restructuring going on, and they wouldn't know if they could use me until after Labor Day. However, they said, there was this one little project that they needed immediate help on, and if I was willing, they saw it as a great way for me to get involved with Magic. And that project was Joan Rivers.
Joan co-wrote a semi-autobiographical play about her life and is premiering it as a workshop at Magic. However, since she is used to doing improv and stand-up, she was very nervous about memorizing her lines, so she wanted someone to be available to go over her lines with her at the drop of a hat--and that person became me.
I was terrified. I felt like Andy in The Devil Wears Prada. I was hopelessly unfashionable and ignorant. I was going to be bad at everything and even mess up the coffee orders. And she was going to be a fashion goddess, cruel and unyielding.
Turns out she is actually pretty awesome. She calls everyone "my darling" and showers them with jewelry from The Joan Rivers Collection (which apparently contains magical powers to placate even the most savage boss, an observation I made after she gave me a bracelet which I was supposed to give to my manager in order to get out of work that night so I could run lines with her instead). She is a Jewish mother and a gay man mashed together and fused with collagen. She is hilarious.
So I spent a week going into San Fran, biking up the biggest hill, and then elevatoring to the tallest tower in the nicest hotel so I could sit in Joan Rivers's penthouse suite, look out over the entire city, and rehearse lines with her while a flock of people hovered around, putting on her makeup and doing her hair.
At the end of the week, after Joan did nothing but shower me with praise, Magic decided I could have an internship with them. And then Intersection for the Arts called and told me that I could have an internship with them too. So now I have internships coming out of my ears, which makes me worry about my sense of balance. But whatever.
Other craziness in my life?
Well, I decided to leave Elmo Thief and Rainbow Bright, as Sara most interestingly calls them.
I gave my notice last week, and am now frantically searching for a new place to live. They were not pleased, and I do not care.
Going for housing interviews also provided me with some grade A insanity. The highlight was interviewing with some guy that told me that the house held bi-annual tantric sex parties, and while I was not required to attend, I had to be o.k. with letting my bedroom be put to use.
But at the end of the week all is pretty much well. There were some great moments during the past seven days including:
Teaching Max the vegetable game, with excellent results. He did an ace asparagus.
Climbing up to the top of Buena Vista Park, a small neighborhood park in San Fran, after some hellacious housing interviews and knowing that I live in (ok, actually next to) the best city ever.
Taking pictures with my camera phone!!! Check out the quality!
What?!??!?
That's right, Joan Rivers.
But let's backtrack a little. So since arriving here in the Bay Area, I've been attempting to hook myself up with some totally sweet internships (because I love working for free). One of the places I applied to was Magic Theatre, which only produces brand new works. Almost everything they do is a world premier. Last week, they gave me a call. They informed me that they were very impressed with my application, that I was obviously a very eloquent person, but that there was a lot of departmental restructuring going on, and they wouldn't know if they could use me until after Labor Day. However, they said, there was this one little project that they needed immediate help on, and if I was willing, they saw it as a great way for me to get involved with Magic. And that project was Joan Rivers.
Joan co-wrote a semi-autobiographical play about her life and is premiering it as a workshop at Magic. However, since she is used to doing improv and stand-up, she was very nervous about memorizing her lines, so she wanted someone to be available to go over her lines with her at the drop of a hat--and that person became me.
I was terrified. I felt like Andy in The Devil Wears Prada. I was hopelessly unfashionable and ignorant. I was going to be bad at everything and even mess up the coffee orders. And she was going to be a fashion goddess, cruel and unyielding.
Turns out she is actually pretty awesome. She calls everyone "my darling" and showers them with jewelry from The Joan Rivers Collection (which apparently contains magical powers to placate even the most savage boss, an observation I made after she gave me a bracelet which I was supposed to give to my manager in order to get out of work that night so I could run lines with her instead). She is a Jewish mother and a gay man mashed together and fused with collagen. She is hilarious.
So I spent a week going into San Fran, biking up the biggest hill, and then elevatoring to the tallest tower in the nicest hotel so I could sit in Joan Rivers's penthouse suite, look out over the entire city, and rehearse lines with her while a flock of people hovered around, putting on her makeup and doing her hair.
At the end of the week, after Joan did nothing but shower me with praise, Magic decided I could have an internship with them. And then Intersection for the Arts called and told me that I could have an internship with them too. So now I have internships coming out of my ears, which makes me worry about my sense of balance. But whatever.
Other craziness in my life?
Well, I decided to leave Elmo Thief and Rainbow Bright, as Sara most interestingly calls them.
I gave my notice last week, and am now frantically searching for a new place to live. They were not pleased, and I do not care.Going for housing interviews also provided me with some grade A insanity. The highlight was interviewing with some guy that told me that the house held bi-annual tantric sex parties, and while I was not required to attend, I had to be o.k. with letting my bedroom be put to use.
But at the end of the week all is pretty much well. There were some great moments during the past seven days including:
Teaching Max the vegetable game, with excellent results. He did an ace asparagus.
Climbing up to the top of Buena Vista Park, a small neighborhood park in San Fran, after some hellacious housing interviews and knowing that I live in (ok, actually next to) the best city ever.
Taking pictures with my camera phone!!! Check out the quality!
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